


Sleepover

by paperscribe



Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Conferencefic, Declarations Of Love, Exhaustion, M/M, Secret love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 21:05:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2040147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperscribe/pseuds/paperscribe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An exhausted Lewis reveals a secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleepover

It had been a long drive to the hotel where the conference would be the next day. The trip shouldn't have taken more than a few hours, but there had been several accidents on the motorway, and by the time they reached their hotel, they'd been in the car most of the day. James had volunteered to do some of the driving, but Lewis had insisted on doing it all.

Now, as they made their way to the reception desk, Lewis looked as though he might lie down and take a nap the moment his last bit of energy deserted him, wherever that might be. James kept an eye on him while he confirmed the reservation and collected the keys to their room. As they started down the hallway to their room, Lewis took James's arm.

"I'm sorry I'm touching you, but if I don't, I might fall over," Lewis said with the utter candour of someone deeply exhausted.

"It's all right," James said with a slight smile. "I don't mind you touching me."

Upon entering the room, Lewis made his way to the bed and flopped onto it face first.

"Are you going to sleep in your clothes?" James asked, allowing a little humour to creep into his voice.

"Are these my clothes?" Lewis asked, turning his head to one side so his voice wouldn't be muffled by the pillow.

"They are."

"Then yes." Lewis sighed. "You know, our Lyn used to have sleepovers when she was a girl. Never understood the appeal of them till now."

James held back his laughter. "Did you want me to paint your nails, sir?"

"Well, you'll have to," Lewis said. "I certainly can't do it."

James couldn't hold back a smile at the idea of Lewis with painted nails. "We'll have to find a colour that suits you. I'm thinking something in a summery shade."

"Want pink," Lewis said.

A small giggle escaped James. "Pink it is."

James took off his jacket and shoes and climbed into bed. He'd worn jeans and a T-shirt for travelling, which shouldn't be too difficult to sleep in. Then James reached over and clicked off the light.

"Know when I first knew I loved you?"

_What?_ James immediately clicked the light on again. He had to see Lewis's face. "Sorry?"

"I said, do you know when I first knew I loved you?"

James couldn't stop staring at Lewis, so it was just as well the other man had his eyes shut.

"No, sir," James said faintly. "When was that?"

"When I took you to Fiona McKendrick's," Lewis said. "I should've gone the moment you went inside, but I didn't. I stayed. And I could see you…the way you touched her. Kissed her." Lewis sighed. "I would've given anything to be her in that moment."

James was struggling to make sense of this. "You wanted to be Fiona?"

"I wanted to be someone you could love," Lewis said. "It was different with Val. She wanted me as I was. But you like girls your own age, and I'm…" He sighed again. "…not that."

"Well, no," James said, "but--"

"Do you know what that's like?" Lewis said. "To realise you love someone and to realise it's hopeless at exactly the same time?"

James nodded. "Yes."

Lewis pulled a face that looked something like a pout. It was an odd expression on his countenance. "It's no good, is it?"

James shook his head. "No."

"Meant what I said before," Lewis said, words gradually going soft and indistinct with sleepiness. "I want you to be happy. I want you to find someone." His voice and face were sad, though it was a quiet sort of sadness--the sadness a person has learnt to live with and keep close. "I'm just sorry it can't be me."

"It is you," James said.

"No," Lewis whispered. "I know better than that." His breathing evened and deepened, making it clear that he was asleep at last.

"We'll talk about this in the morning," James whispered, "Robbie."

***

The first thing Robbie noticed was that someone's arms were around him and someone's warm body was pressed against his. He'd had this dream before; the only question was whether the warmth in question came from Val or James.

The person shifted, murmuring something incoherent in a voice far too low to belong to Val. Robbie rolled to face James; as this was a dream, he could do what he liked without fear of censure. He curled against James, head resting against his shoulder. "Hello."

"Good morning," James said, voice affectionate. "Don't tell me you're a morning person."

"Used to be, " Robbie said. "Suppose I could be again, with some encouragement."

James's fingers brushed lightly through Robbie's hair. "I can be encouraging."

Robbie sighed, closing his eyes. "I won't like waking up from this one."

"Waking up? You think you're asleep?"

Robbie opened his eyes and blinked a bit. "Am I not?"

"No," James said. "No, you're not."

Robbie looked round the room for the first time. He wasn't home, as he usually was in the dreams; they were in a hotel room, the same room they'd checked into last night, when he'd been so knackered.

"Well, you," Robbie stammered, "you, you must've done this on purpose."

James gave him an amused look. "Yes. I got in your bed and slept beside you on purpose."

"Not for a joke?" Robbie asked.

James's arms tightened round him. "Of course not."

"Y-you mean…you mean you…" Robbie hardly knew how to let himself think it, let alone say it.

"Look at me, Robbie," James said.

Heart pounding, Robbie looked up, and then James's lips were meeting his in a gentle kiss. Robbie didn't dare close his eyes; he wanted to remember everything about this now it was real. James was kissing him…him, not a girlfriend.

"I tried to tell you last night," James whispered, "but you fell asleep."

"That'll teach me," Robbie whispered, leaning in awkwardly to kiss James again. "But…you like girls, don't you?"

"I don't like labels," James said. "But I do like you."

"I'm glad," Robbie said, feeling a bit overwhelmed. "Dunno how I'm going to go out there and be your governor after this."

"One step at a time," James said.

Robbie nodded but couldn't resist quipping, "Not a bad Eurovision song."

"That's 'One Step Out of Time,'" James said, though the amusement was easy to see in his eyes.

"Yeah, I know," Robbie said. He could feel the grin on his face and knew he probably looked a right git, but he didn't care. James loved him back when he'd thought, when he'd known, such a thing was impossible. Life, as the song said, could not better be. "Could probably sing it for you."

"Maybe tonight," James said. He was smiling slightly, as was his wont, but he seemed to be radiating calm and joy from the inside. Robbie had never seen James joyous.

Robbie then said what he'd been thinking to himself for ages. "I love you."

James's eyes softened, and he nodded. "I love you too."

Robbie snuggled back against him. "Wonder if they'd miss us."

James laughed quietly. "I'm a bad influence on you."

Robbie gave him what he hoped was a cheeky grin. "The worst. But somehow I'll learn to live with it."

"Yeah," James said warmly. "So will I."

Robbie didn't think he could ask for more than this. And he suspected, with not a little delight, that James felt just the same.


End file.
